Saturday, June 13, 2015

Everything Dread-full (or everything you wanted to know about my dreadlocks but were afraid to ask...)

I've often joked, to myself, that I should make a t-shirt that says "Yes, they're clean...No, I don't smoke weed...etc, etc." Everyone has the same questions, so much so that I've decided to answer them all here.

So why do I wear dreadlocks?

Mostly because they are beautiful. I have loved them since I first saw them. (even before I saw my first head of dreads I fell in love with Bo Derek's cornrowed hair in the 1979 Movie "10". I remember being about 10 or 11 years old spending hours trying to braid and beading my crazy blond locks) Oh and how I would cut out the "dreads" or mats, as my Mom called them that kept growing in the back of my head, due to using an inadequately soft child's hairbrush for this thick crazy mane of mine. That lead to the Most Wretched Chapter in The History of my Hair..."The Dorothy Hamill" (I love you so much, but still don't forgive you for that one Mom), however that's another story.

I decided at 17 or 18 years old Dreadlocks were for me, and asked our Housekeeper Sonia to help put them in my hair. Sonia was fantastic and helped me with my hair  processing many times, but she told me that she'd have to work a lot of wax into my hair and when I no longer wanted them I'd need to shave my head bald to be rid of my dreads. Well, that scared me out of getting dreads, I wasn't into the shaved head commitment yet. Still wanting them I was ready to commit a few years later. Mom put her foot down, with a long list of reasons (like I'll never get a job, a boyfriend, or married, and they'll stink, and the 'what would her friends think???') Even after moving out on my own, I kept revisiting the idea every year or two, get myself really excited and allowing myself to get shot down by other people's opinion. I often heard "your hair is your most beautiful asset, why do you want to ruin it?"


Yet every time I saw a person with dreads my heart would swoon over their locks, especially blond dreads. I remember being at an outdoor concert, in a park, with my daughter, and my parents...and a few girls spread out a blanket and sat in front of us. One was wearing her blond hair in gorgeous dreads. I was in love with her locs! She looked so beautiful, carefree, a goddess, she had a 'wild', untamed look, and she looked so confident, she was magical and mystical, she was vibrant and alive....but most of all she looked FREE. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, she had an aura of freedom around her, and I wanted to be that. I resonated with that! Every cell of my being yearns to be that beautiful, confident, wild-woman, goddess, warrior-of-peace. Mom leans over to me and whispers "disgusting" in my ear. Years go by again.

I suppose it helped being married to someone who not only loves me, and believes in me, and always gives me the confidence to be true to myself, and to make the opinions of others not matter anymore. But I did still respectfully wait until after my parents had passed to dread my hair. Perhaps it was then that I really was free. I started them on the Summer Solstice June 2012. They were a promise to me, to be true to myself, and my personal and spiritual beliefs, to be an artist, to remember I AM AN ARTIST, to always keep learning and growing. To look in the mirror and be reminded of who I am, of who I intend to become, and not fall into the old mindsets, I AM FREE.

My locs did not lock up over night, and it was a process to become mature beautiful dreads, very much like the process of getting in touch with myself and dropping old thinking and mentality, but 3 years in I feel like I am doing great, on both fronts.


I was just starting my dread-journey, but the word 'Dreadlock' made still me somewhat uncomfortable. my hair is nothing DREADFUL, it is wonderful and beautiful. It is bold, it is a statement, I know I am sure to run into some stereotypes, but I just don't like the term "dread". I read about and respect the Rasta, and what dreads mean to their culture, because they have become synonymous with  dreadlocks. However, I was happy to find that many other cultures have worn dreadlocks too, such as Ancient Celtics, and Holy Men in India and Asia. What really excited me was to find that the Queen of Poland wore dreadlocks in the back of her hair, and during that time they were called Elf-locs or Fairy-locks. The folklore told that elves or fairies were responsible for the matted hair by the back of your neck, because it tangled as they played in it and wove it while you slept. It was also considered bad luck to remove Fairy locks from your head! Well that's it! I WEAR FAIRY-LOCKS! It's perfect. Especially for someone who has always believed in magic.


So I brushed my mane one last time, sectioned my hair with little rubber bands and my sisters help, used a method called twist and rip, and was off on my journey. I found if you do not use wax, or any conditioner they will not smell, and you could, if you took the time and care brush them out if you no longer want them. SOLD. After twist and rip and 7 months of 'neglect' they were getting weird. I got the help of a talented loctician, Amy at Raging Roots in Enfield, CT, who preformed some magic with her hands, a crochet hook, and some love. Now they were looking pretty good. I did loose a lot of length by putting them in. I felt like the first year my hair was getting shorter and shorter as they tightened.


On my second year, I hit a milestone. Dreads are considered 'mature' at two years old, and at this time you've really 'committed' to them. Brushing them out is really not much of an option any more, at least without cutting a good amount of length off. Speaking of the length, for not having cut my hair for two years I really thought it would have grown more, especially considering how it well grew before! I decided to go back to Raging Roots for a set of extensions. Yeah I know it's not the 'all natural' vibe this hairstyle gives off, but I have waited over 25 years to have long dreadlocks (or I should say Fairylocs) I'm putting back some of the length I lost...(and maybe a little more) Amy did and awesome job of matching the organic bumpy loopy texture of my own hair into the extensions she custom made for me. So I started being asked " is that all your hair?" Umm, Yes. The hair I grew, AND the hair I bought. It's all mine. And so is the confident warrior-of-peace, goddess, wild-woman freedom that comes with wearing them.


Namaste'

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